It's Christmas Time...

Sing the title like the first line in "Do They Know It's Christmas?"

I'm not in the Christmas spirit. I'm the type of person who only gets excited about something the day of, so this whole time leading up to Christmas day is like.. nothing to me. It wouldn't be a big deal if I wasn't expected to be excited though. But my bf has reverted back to being 10 years old. He hasn't had a real Christmas in almost a decade. Real meaning a tree and presents. He's 30, so it's kind of understandable. Me? I've had real Christmas every year. Whether or not I got gifts or had an actual tree, we still had a Christmas. Three or four years ago, I was with my mother in the Philippines. No actual gifts, but she did pay for my ticket. I honestly didn't realize I didn't get any presents until someone asked if I had gotten any. In high school we didn't have a tree one year. I forget why but I just remember gifts being stacked on the ground. My family has also opened all our presents on Christmas eve on more than one occasion because my mom was too excited to wait. So, not always traditional Christmas but Christmas none the less.

So, my boyfriend has been so excited and I kind of want to roll my eyes but I remember that I've been blessed every year to even have the opportunity to take this holiday for granted. It's really special to him. He wants to have the perfect Christmas. Wants to have traditions. Last year, we spent it together and it was "perfect." The part that bothers me is he wants the stereotypical "perfect." He rearranges the ornaments on the tree over and over. He repositions the presents under the tree every day. He wants a lot of presents. Last year, we set a $600 limit, which I thought was way high but we were both working and living with our parents. We were able to splurge. This year, the limit is $300. I'm unemployed and he and I are living on our own. I'm helping us by using my savings. So. I really don't think we should be spending that much on each other. I love buying gifts for people. I just don't like feeling like I'm being forced to. Or feeling like I haven't spent enough. To me, Christmas is about showing you care. Any stranger can buy me $300 worth of gifts. I don't need a lot of presents. There's not a lot of things I want either. When asked what I wanted from him, I said Kathy Griffin's book and the DVD "UP." Everything else is just extra. He wants tons of specific things so I guess that's where his dollar limit stems from. So, there are three gifts under the tree for him. I know it's not exciting but I told him I go for quality not quantity. And he said the opposite. I hope he was kidding. Although there are quite a few presents under there for me. I haven't counted because I don't care. Not in a mean way, but I won't be excited until I open them. I suppress a lot of my feelings I think... issue for a different day.

Also, you could say I'm completely spoiled to the point that I can choose to forgo the materialistic side of Christmas. I still get presents/ money from my parents, he doesn't. Well, until last year. He has taken to getting them presents and forcing them to get him one. He loves his mom and now that he's working, he buys her a gift--absolutely understandable. But then he has to buy his step-dad a gift as well. She tells him repeatedly not to get them anything but he does because he loves.

I don't know. It's just too big. We do Christmas too big. I'm only slightly less stressed out because my mom's gift to me is money. And I will use that money to cover the cost of buying presents for my bf and family. That's what it means to break even, right?